Apocalyptic Meditations

The albuterol inhaler my doctor ordered was not the one my insurance covers so I did not pick it up.

The orange sky is not, I hope, some kind of electoral omen.

When short of breath I cannot work because it could be COVID-19.

Nobody really likes masks.

If I could do one thing over from my parenting years it would be taking a full year off from work for each new child.

Daniela reminded me the Bach Preludes and Fugues are the Old Testament, the Beethoven Sonatas the New Testament. Of piano.

Reading the Bible cover to cover makes all the world seem unnerving, especially if you are a woman, not white, not straight, and not big on smite. But did any right-leaning Christian ever read even one word ascribed to the Christ? 

If it was to become COVID, will it involve cardiomyopathy? The tightness in my chest might just be anxiety about 

What can be controlled and what cannot?

My child Zoomed a math exam today even though the world is on fire and that gave me hope. 

It can be 120 degrees where my other child is imprisoned. Sometimes they pour water from the toilet on the floor and lay in it for relief.

Even though I believe in God I find 

No judgement

Anyway my tax dollars will be used to help the department of justice defend the reputation of our rapist in chief.

I earned that money carrying for all kinds of people, many not well-off, in a rural place that some might describe as a shithole county

If just based on statistics of wealth, life expectancy, drug use and other public health measures of interest.

Others might be shocked by the beauty and in fact flock here to escape to the cooling breezes and redwood mist.

Whales stop by often. As do seals, mountain lions, elk and foxes. We also have a rat in our yard. 

Templeton, I think, or a descendant thereof. He likes the snacks our chickens receive and the detritus from the bird feeder which is still my all time favorite housewarming gift from 18 years past.

Coffee every morning, while junkos and hummingbirds feast, probably annoyed I watch them so intently.

Or once a deer wound it’s astounding tongue up into the conical bird feeder and drained it in 3 minutes flat. 

In an ideal society a mother would not have to choose career versus children. My own Mom puked her chemotherapy guts out before she went to work after making my lunch for my day at fifth grade.

America cares about children except for the child care aspect, the paid maternity/adoption leave, the healthcare coverage, the feeding of hungry mouths.

People should not be hungry.

I wanted to get some albuterol today because I am having trouble breathing. 

In my country, you can only breathe if you have enough clout. The right hue. The right insurance blue, shielding 

You from worry