Paths

Life is sad
Life is a bust
All you can do is do what you must
You do what you must do and you do it well
I'll do it for you honey baby
Can't you tell?
-Bob Dylan

 Marsh path run, 6/16/12

I have an ulcer. Again. I can blame this on many things. But I suppose it is largely due to the path I have chosen. And dipping into the Naproxen doesn't help a whole lot either.

Stress is such a buzzword these days, it hardly means anything. Standing in line at Starbucks is stressful, and so is getting a diagnosis of cancer. Also, final exams, raising teenagers, trying to heal heroin addicts and waiting for your Hulu TV show to download. It is like all in the same category: stress. Personally, I am stressed that they hired back Thomas on Downton Abbey. What were they thinking?

I would like to think my choices have been reasonable. I mean, giving up music performance for the relatively easy path of medicine seemed very sensible at age 21. Leaving primary care for the hospital fits my type A personality. Chopping off my unruly curls will surely solve the problems I face. It has also decreased my wind drag so I can run marathons with abandon. Marathons. Another questionable path. Sometimes I wonder.

And my children: what path will they choose? I can tell you there is no shortage of anxiety as I ponder this question. Teenager-world has only one well worn path, and it is called uncertainty. Which is why I read Wendell Berry at least once per day. Wendell Berry works better for me than proton pump inhibitors.

A wise young friend recently told me I should let my children take the path they are meant to take. In other words: let go.
I am thinking this might be good advice for me, myself and I. So I called a meeting and the three of us agreed: Just do what you must do and do it well. I do it for you, honey baby, can't you tell?

Oh, this is dedicated to my husband of nearly 20 years. Happy Father's Day (I know your views on the Hallmark absurdity of this holiday, but that aside, you are an extraordinary Dad).
One path I am absolutely sure of: my path with you.

Marsh path run, 6/16/12